Tuesday, July 14, 2009

June 20, 1949

The pain I felt this day was very strong. I knew when I awoke that morning that something would happen to me to hurt me but I had no idea what or whom would hurt me.

I was prepared, but not for this. I was late for school so I had to go to the office for a note from the principal then head to class. On the way to class from the principal’s office I ran into one of the seniors. He had talked to me over the past couple months and I thought I trusted him. He offered me a cigarette to smoke with him in the boy’s washroom.

Once he got me inside he handed it to me and lit it for me. The cigarette tasted differently but he told me it was a different brand. I started to feel a little dizzy and I seemed to have lost my voice. It was then that everything began. I turned around to look at the exit door but it was blocked by 3 boys. I felt strongly that something bad was about to happen. In fact I felt it when he offered the cigarette but I ignored the feelings. They told me to co-operate and they would take care of me. I knew they were stronger than me so I gave in.

Now it is possible that I am pregnant by one of the 4 of them although I am not sure which one. They all had their chance inside me. I told nobody about it. Once I start showing they will take me in and take care of me as long as they get their chances inside me again. I guess I am an entertainer now just like my mom.

I should have listened to my instinct and not gone in there. I guess I am just as foolish as my friends who I warn and they don't listen

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